I’ve read some really crazy shit on Facebook, but it seems like people have become extra crazy. I have friends that fall just about everywhere on the political spectrum. I consider myself a moderate. My conservative friends generally consider my beliefs liberal. My liberal friends see me as too conservative. I think for myself. I do my research. And that guides my vote.
I have friends who are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, atheist, agnostic, Buddhist, and pagan. I’m pagan. I’m very much a follow the golden rule (because every religion has one) type of person.
So, yeah, I see all sorts of shit on social media. Some crazy and eye-roll worthy stuff posted by people I actually know and some crazy and eye-roll worthy stuff posted by people that I met online.
The Craziest Thing Lately? Don’t Post about Having a Good Life
So, that sub-heading there is paraphrasing what the post actually said. To be fair, it wasn’t something that was aimed directly toward me. Someone honestly felt that they were somehow doing the world a service by wanting people to not post about their accomplishments and abilities.
It said something like don’t post about your workouts because many people can’t afford to go to a gym. Some people have disabilities or illnesses that prevent them from working out.
So, basically, shut up before your good life causes someone else to feel bad.
And that is the most fucked up thing I’ve ever read online.
No, I Will Not Appease Others By Not Documenting My Good Life
My life hasn’t always been this good. I enjoy some really simple things in life and some things that I am recognize as privilege. It’s privilege that I earned. It isn’t something that someone just walked up to me and said, “Oh, hey, here you go.”
Had I not witnessed an example from people when I was young (and even as an adult) that had some of the things I wanted, how would I have known it was possible? No good role model? No one to study and learn from? Really? So, I was just supposed to do what my parents and society expected me to do? Which, by the way, was nothing. I was told growing up that I’d become a drug addict whore. Just so all 1,500 readers of this blog knows…I’ve never done drugs (no, not even experimented). I had lots and lots of opportunity, but I recognized that if I wanted something different out of life, I had to be different.
Almost Every Morning I Eat the Same Thing for Breakfast
My breakfast is fast and simple…and free of whole cow’s milk. It’s almost always pork sausage, eggs, and either juice with greens or orange juice.
My aversion to whole cow’s milk isn’t some sort of liberal, hippie agenda. I get really, really sick if I have whole milk (and even real cheese and butter…or ice cream). By the way, my 19 year old son shares the same severe intolerance to whole milk. My mother made me eat cereal and milk every day until I was about 10. I started refusing because it made me so sick. I’d get sick at school when teachers would force me to drink milk with my lunch. So, no milk. That’s not me saying people are awful if they drink milk. It’s me saying I cannot drink it without being sick.
So, why pork sausage, eggs, and juice? Well, when I was about 14, I went on a trip with my aunt, my cousins, my grandmother, and my great grandmother. We went to Branson. Rarely was there quality or nutritious (or even really bad for you but still makes the hunger pains go away) food in it. One morning, it was gray and rainy and we went to a restaurant for breakfast. I looked for the cheapest thing on the menu because I felt fucking awful about anyone buying me anything. It was eggs and sausage. My grandmother insisted on the OJ because I was always sickly. Poor nutrition will do that to you, by the way. That simple meal of pork sausage, eggs, and orange juice was one of the most wonderful things I’d ever had. I looked at my aunt and told her that life would be perfect if I could have this every day for breakfast. By the way, I buy whatever mild / regular pork sausage is on sale. I buy plain white eggs (brown eggs if they are on sale). And the OJ I buy? It’s usually concentrated and in a can (which I actually don’t like…except it is a dollar. I can afford the better juice, but I rarely buy since I am the only one who drinks it).
So, why the greens? I am missing part of my intestine (you’re welcome for that). It’s an easy way to get extra nutrients and much needed fiber. It’s not some “Look at me – I am super healthy and can afford this!” attitude. It’s an “Oh, look, a month of greens powder is $18.99 which is a fuck ton cheaper than being in the hospital or needing another surgery!”
Yep, I Have a Gym Membership
I don’t post much about my workouts anymore…but it’s not because of the bullshit post about how posting about exercise may hurt someone’s feelings. I work out at home and I go to the gym. I don’t post about my gym visits very often because having been stalked by a former spouse who abused me, I take my privacy and my safety seriously.
By the way, I have atrial fibrillation, microvascular disease (hereditary), and high blood pressure. Atrial fibrillation means I have a higher risk of stroke than most people. MVD means I struggle with unstable angina and shortness of breath. For someone my size, I have crazy high blood pressure. I am on aspirin therapy at the age of 39. I’ve had heart surgery. I take a beta blocker. I take a statin (no, my cholesterol isn’t high…statins also help with chest pain). Oh, and every once in a while…my body decides to dump out every bit of potassium in my body for no reason. I had a heart attack in 2002 when I was 24. In 2014, I had a TIA. Today, I blacked out at the gym and in the grocery store. It took us a bit to figure it out. So now I’m relegated to the couch, drinking Gatorade and taking potassium supplements. I wasn’t going to say anything about that, but it’s important when you keep in mind that most online shamers don’t bother to get to know anyone before running off at the mouth.
I have no health insurance (couldn’t afford it before the ACA and couldn’t afford it after the ACA. I live in a state where Medicaid wasn’t expanded). I am a lab rat for a specialists program at the local teaching hospital. I get cardio check-ups once a year for a price of between $40 and $80. I have to pay for my meds. Also, when I have things done like an echo or stress test (which I failed several years back which is another reason why I now go to the gym)…I have to pay out of pocket for those.
My trips to the gym are for my health. And if I can do it with cardiovascular issues, so can most people…even if it means just starting to walk or do squats at home.
Oh, and I like going to the gym. I’ll post about it and my results if I want to…and that should inspire people to do what they can to change if that’s what they want to do. I’ll never run a marathon. I’ll never be a power lifter.
Yeah, I Shop at Sprout’s
And no, I don’t feel bad about it. I also shop at Crest (personal favorite), two specific Wal-Marts (because they have great clearance items during the day), and a few other local stores. Why? Because I know when the circulars come out. I know when most stores put their bakery / meat / produce on clearance. I know how to store it. I know how to use it. I am very, very good at feeding my family on a very small budget.
By the way, Sprout’s has ridiculously cheap produce. And, no, I do not shop at Aldi’s. I have a friend that does and she loves it. I do not like most of their products.
I worked really hard to get to where I am. Do you know what it is like as a child to go hungry? I do. And just so you know, I’ve been known to take my own grocery money and buy for others and drop it off. I have friends that do it as well. Going hungry sucks. No one should have to do it.
I would advise anyone that chastises anyone for posting about groceries or food online to do something other than being a keyboard warrior. Go out and buy some groceries and drop it off to someone in your neighborhood. Go volunteer at the food bank.
I’ve been able to take a very worrisome and troubling part of my childhood and adult life (worrying about food and the food budget) and overcome that by learning to shop in a way that means my family always has enough.
And I will not ever be sorry about the fact that I can afford to provide for my family. In this age, that should be inspiring.
I Buy Custom Vitamins
Something else I refuse to be ashamed of. For $29 a month (and no shipping), Care / of provides me with digestive enzymes, probiotics, rhodiola, and ashwaganda (I likely misspelled that last one). FYI, I am in no way affiliated with Care / of. I am just a customer. A happy one. Here’s the breakdown of why I refuse to be ashamed:
I’ve already mentioned the intestinal issue. Hence the digestive enzymes and probiotics. If you’ve never had intestinal problems (especially where surgery is required), you have no idea how bad it can get and how much it can affect your overall health.
I take rhodiola and ashwaganda and they’ve helped me with my focus and with the symptoms I have that are related to complex PTSD. Yes, C-PTSD. I am a survivor of child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. If you try to shame me for buying vitamins, you’re essentially telling me that you prefer that I continue to feel like a victim instead of keeping my personal power.
And that makes you a giant asshole.
I Work from Home
I won’t apologize for the fact that I started and continue to run a successful freelance writing and editing business that supports myself and my family. No one handed it to me. I taught and worked in a law firm (as a paralegal) while I built up my business. No one helped me get started. No one gave me clients. I figured it out on my own. Eventually, I found a fantastic mentor.
Working from home became a necessity between the C-PTSD and cardiovascular issues. Going on disability simply wasn’t an option.
Besides, I like my home office (which was converted from part of the garage…originally as a bedroom). I also like my couch. And my dogs.
I Won’t Apologize for Wearing Make-Up, Having Confidence, or Feeling Good about Life
I could post about so many other things that I earned or that I started doing to benefit my life and my family…but this post is already long. As a professional writer, most people won’t make it this far. And many will take it all out of context anyway.
My wearing make-up when I want to wear it doesn’t set any movement or gender back any length of time. I wear it because I like it. Let’s face it – my work is generally judged on its merit or I wouldn’t have clients…since I work from home.
I won’t apologize for having self-confidence. I like me. If you don’t like me, that’s not my problem. My world won’t stop because of it. If you’re worried when a woman has confidence, you should really ask yourself what it is about that person that scares you. Why do you want to hold them back? Women are often expected to have low self-esteem and be grateful for compliments from men who want to do nothing more than show off their dick. Don’t believe me? Next time you get a compliment from a man you don’t know, just say, “I know,” or say, “Thanks for noticing. I agree.” Then you’ll be verbally assaulted about how you’re a whore, slut, bitch, ugly, fat, stupid…and how you should be grateful that someone tried to pay attention to you.
Then, if you get attacked physically, verbally, or sexually as a woman, you’ll be blamed for it or told you should just get over it. Don’t tie up your worth in what happened. Blah. Blah. Blah. If you do take back your power, shame on you. If you don’t, shame on you and you just want to be a victim.
There’s no winning.
TL : DR
I know most people have too short of an attention span to read 2,000 words. That’s evidenced by the fact that people will post shit without ever trying to verify its accuracy. And that’s the point of this post – telling people not to share the good things they can do in life because it might make someone else feel bad is bullshit. You walk around telling people to make a difference, but when they ARE the difference…when they ARE the result of doing something different, you tell them to STFU and sit down. That’s a special kind of fucked up, really.
So, you do you…and be miserable if you want. Keep being a keyboard warrior. I’ll do me and I’ll continue to be a good, walking example that people can rise above the hand they were dealt.