Learn to Own Your Shit When Dating

Can I just start by saying that I do not miss being single? I do not miss being single in the slightest. Dating is not fun. I guess you can lie to yourself and say that it is’s fun if that’s what you wanna do. And before I go any further into this, let me give a brief disclaimer.

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Ozzy Osbourne Has Parkinson's…And Water Is Wet

So, the news broke today that Ozzy Osbourne has Parkinson’s. In other news:

  • Water is wet
  • Elton John is gay
  • Sharon Osbourne is still awesome
  • Gwyneth Paltrow is still obsessed with vaginas

Thank you, Captain Obvious. I mean, while we’ve all made jokes presuming it was drugs (because, really, the health of celebrities is none of our business unless they choose to share…just like your health isn’t anyone else’s business unless you choose to share), we all kinda knew…

Gwyneth Paltrow Is Still Obsessed with Vaginas

I guess Gwyneth Paltrow is done steaming her vagina (which, by the way, gynecologists say is a bad idea). You should also NOT follow Paltrow’s awful advice about sticking a jade egg up your cooch (which got her into some legal trouble, by the way, by suggesting it is healthy in some way, shape, or form on her website), either (because gynecologists know a lot more about bacterial growth than Paltrow).

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