National Wine Day

So, I noticed on Twitter today that it is National Wine Day (or National Wine Drinking Day). I stopped drinking on October 23, 2018 for no other reason that alcohol is dehydrating and I was coming off the med I took for atrial fibrillation. The way my morning happened (so far – it’s only 10:35 am!), I would not say no if the wine fairy dropped a bottle of red at my door.

We all woke up around 8 am since Baby Bull doesn’t have school today. I sprained my ankle on Friday (and how I did it is as equally ridiculous as my morning). It’s been swollen and I’ve not been able to really walk on it. This morning, the swelling is down and there’s less pain. I can kinda walk. I thought MAN THIS IS GONNA BE SUCH A FUCKING AWESOME DAY!

Then the shit hit the fan.

Bull went outside to check the tires on the van. Yesterday, before we drove to Broken Arrow to get his pictures done for Fight 2 Win, three out of four tires were flat (or almost flat). Coming home, the indicator for the back driver-side tire kept coming on. We stopped before we hit the turnpike to air it up as well as after we exited the turnpike (because there’s literally ONE place on the turnpike where we could have stopped for air). So, we knew that tire, for sure, has a problem. Since he is a mason, it could very well be a nail in the tire.

Anyway, so he goes outside this morning and sure enough…that same tire is totally flat. It’s cold here…not as cold as some places, but it’s cold for Oklahoma. He’s outside looking for the four way to change the flat. I am inside with Baby Bull, the dogs, and the cat putting together my list for the day and prepping for a 10 am call with a prospective client.

I remembered I soaked chickpeas overnight. I hobble into the kitchen (we have a galley kitchen and it starts maybe three feet from where I sit to work during the day (because my actual office space, which is part of the garage we converted, doesn’t have heat or air…and with a sprained ankle, I can’t go that far). I go into the kitchen with my wrist braces on to get the Knorr chicken bouillon granules so I can put the chickpeas on to cook. I take the lid off. I turn around to take the two steps to the stove…and I drop the fucking container. It went EVERYWHERE. A large portion rehomed itself on top of my six pack of Blue Sky soda. So then I have to wash the soda cans…and sweep up the mess.

I warn Bull that if he decides to drink a Blue Sky to rinse the lid again just in case…because cherry vanilla chicken cane soda sounds like some awful shit. I sat down and not two minutes later, Pandora is vomiting in the living room. (She’s fine, by the way. We sort of expected this anyway because she broke off a significant portion of a dog treat and tends to swallow and not bother to chew. She wasn’t choking or in any distress.)

I hobble into the living room to let her out back (yes, our back door is actually in our living room. Don’t ask me. I didn’t design the house!). I let her out. I walk to the back of the house to get a towel because all of the clean laundry is all over Private Christian’s bed right now. I limp back into the living room and clean it up. I let Pandora back in.

I check the clock and it is 9:45 am. MY CALL IS IN 15 MINUTES!! I plug my headset into Skype. I sit down with my notebook. I review the email sent to me. I call at 10. It is a seven minute phone call. During that seven minutes, Pandora, again vomits. I kept waiting for the prospective client to ask me what that noise was…thankfully, he didn’t. Maybe he couldn’t hear it. That’s my hope.

So, I clean that up and I get the dogs fed. Crom won’t eat in the early mornings any more. Athena is hit or miss. Pandora will eat anything at any time. I’m sitting on the couch with Athena after the other two are done eating. I’m pouring her dry food onto the cushion because right now she won’t eat unless I do that. I live stream what I’m telling you now on IG to highlight that working from home is often NOT glamour. It is often a train wreck. I’m blessed it wasn’t a literal shit show.

I will take vomit over that ANY DAY.

And right after I cleaned THAT up, Bull called. The price on the tire went up…so we have to pay the difference I guess between what we paid (still under warranty) and the replacement tire.

I don’t know what else this day has in store for us. I’m almost afraid to find out. This isn’t the post I planned for today. So with that:

WAH Rule #856: Harsh Truth: Outsourcing May Not Correct Your Lack of Productivity

As I sit here listening to a podcast about productivity for entrepreneurs, I am certainly not surprised to hear the guest and the host mention outsourcing not just business things you need done, but also personal responsibilities like cleaning. While I wholeheartedly agree with the base concept, I must correct something the host mentioned.

She stated that she and her husband hired someone to come in a few hours a month to do the deep cleaning that they don’t have time to do. Something that I can empathize with. It was her lack of logic that twisted my brain. She stated they did it because of how much time it would free up for them to focus more on their business.

Outsourcing to Free Up Time

Outsourcing to free up time is common. Outsourcing is also both a convenience and a necessity for many. However, outsourcing does not free up your time from a certain project…if you weren’t working on that project to begin with.

And It’s Not about Freeing Up Mental Space

Your brain creates an unlimited universe for you. Outsourcing something you’re not doing doesn’t free up any mental space. It relieves your self-imposed guilt. It gives you a reason to think you can be more mindful with what you believe is a better use of your time.

Yet, if you can’t be mindful now on this most important project that you’re doing instead of doing X, it’s likely that the X isn’t the problem. You are the problem. Your intimidation toward the important project is your problem. Your procrastination is your problem. Your lack of follow-through is your problem.

Your lack of self-honesty through self-assessment is your problem. It is not mental space. You will not focus any better just because you’ve outsourced something else. You’ll find something else to fill your thoughts instead of fully engaging in the project in front of you.

New Moon Fasting

So, it’s the February new moon…and so I’m fasting…well, juice fasting.

And yes, I realize that our bodies can detox on their own. So, no, this isn’t some weird fad I’ve adopted. I’ve fasted for various spiritual and personal reasons over the years.

Also, with the crazy amount of shit that most of us get through our store bought food…I’m sure it doesn’t hurt that I drink freshly squeezed juice for a few days each month. Extra vitamins, mineral, fiber, antioxidants.

But Fasting with No Sleep Is Crazy

Last night, I slept less than two total hours. The sleep I got was riddled with nightmares. Awful ones. Worse than usual ones. So I’m combining no sleep with juice fasting. And it may be the worst thing I’ve ever done. :p

Okay, so not the worst thing I’ve ever done…

The Bright Side

I’m a huge believer in mental sovereignty and self-control. So, the bright side of this situation is that I get some extra practice choosing my thoughts and my behavior until this evening.

Edited to Add:

11:12 am: By the way, I made apple, strawberry, pear juice. And I promptly spilled it down my shirt. Did I mention that I use Cherry Blossom soap and lotion? I smell like a goddamn fruit salad.

WTF Friday: Productivity, Airline Asshole, All about the Benjamins

Okay, so we’ve made it through another week…January is also finished. You’re officially 1/12th of the way done with 2019. So let’s do the thing, shall we?

Productivity

I generally love productivity tips. I’ve always liked being both productive and efficient. So, I was really excited to come across an article promising to tell me five ways to be more productive working form home. But they’re all basic. And the exact same thing you should do if you don’t work from home and work for a traditional company instead. You know, shit like exercising which boosts your productivity, not sitting at your desk ALL day, and staying the fuck off social media. Not impressed.

Airline Asshole

So, some dumbass wants to hide behind “I’m not politically correct” as she, on video, shames her seatmates on a flight because she’s stuck in the middle seat. I’d just like to point out that as she called the folks on both sides of her “fat pigs,” she didn’t do herself any goddamn favors dressed like she is.

I do not fly. However, I’d much rather be stuck with her seatmates than with that raging bitch.

All about the Benjamins

This really shouldn’t come as a shock to anyone…but pharmaceutical companies are out to make money…and there’s more money to be had if you know something you make is addictive (although you tell doctors it isn’t) and then decide to get into the addiction recovery business from the pharmaceutical side.

Yep, what we all know to be true is actually true. And Purdue Pharma’s redacted court documents allude to the fact that they wanted to do more than make opioids…they also wanted to get into the addiction treatment side of things.

We are nothing but dollar signs in the eyes of these businesses. We are not mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, aunts, uncles, siblings, or grandparents. We are dollar signs.

WTF Friday – Virgin Violence & an Easy to Beat Defense Rap

Virgin Violence

Oh. My God. Okay, so if yall didn’t seen it in advance, there’s some extremely stupid man (in his mid / late 20s depending on how you calculate your “mid” years for a decade). And he’s a virgin (well, now that he’s in jail – he’s probably not…at least, not from the receiving send).

So, let me tell you what this dummy did to get himself into this situation. Mr. 27-year-old-virgin threatened to kill a woman because HE is a virgin.

Isn’t he just delightful? Like, dude. There’s Tinder. There are prostitutes. You have all these other avenues (or hey, wait it out, bruh) to get some. Threatening women doesn’t really make us super excited to let you go to pound town, amirite?

Police in Colorado contact him because he didn’t want the “1000 hoes” he sees online…but an actual girlfriend and that he planned to kill as many women as he possibly could. It’s like a modern-day Son of Sam except he’s behind bars before he did anything stupid.

And, for those unfamiliar with Son of Sam, his neighbor once complained to the cops about Berkowitz threatening to kill his dogs…and the cops downplayed it at just a crazy neighbor. And then, you know, all those ladies (and couples) he shot in the face…and then wrote letters to taunt the police.

Jackass Quotes Jay-Z Lyrics as Defense for Shooting

So, I think we’d all agree that there’s enough violence in this world. A man in Brooklyn dubbed as the “gangbanger who couldn’t shoot straight” is in big trouble for a shooting that left not one but two innocent bystanders dead. The goal of Nicholas “Face” Washington (come on, yall, come up with better street names…) had the goal of shooting and killing cocaine slangin’ rivals. Because despite the growing drug epidemic here in America, apparently there aren’t enough drug addicts to go around. (I call bullshit since we are now all statistically more likely to die by an opioid overdose than in a car accident.)

Anyway, the brilliant defense strategy for Williams was to quote Jay-Z lyrics. And by Williams, I mean his lawyer. And the lyrics? Well, you can read them here, but it’s about how quick you can get killed. So, it’s not like it was some sort of actual defense or rationalization.

Exit, stage left.