Quarantine life has turned me into a sweatpants unicorn. Well, sort of…at least for the last few days. I haven’t wanted to get out of my Rugrats Halloween sweatpants. I’m all about that spooky season. I’m often called a unicorn because I’m one of the few who managed to make the work from home life work long-term. So, sweatpants unicorn life it is. Here are some quotes that helped me get here.
They Tried to Bury Us. They Didn’t Know That We Were Seeds
I was a child the first time I heard this. I don’t know where it originated. The internet credits it to various countries. I credit it to an old Mexican woman (yes, she was from Mexico…I grew up in the barrio side of public housing. Most of my friends were Hispanic, as they wished to be called during the 80s and 90s, and African-American. My parents allowed me inside of the homes of my Hispanic friends and not inside of the home of my African-American friends…to be more specific, that directive was from my biological father who is now deceased. Fun fact – after my bio dad passed away, my mother remarried. My step-father is African-American and blind. His favorite game is to tell people I’m his biological daughter and that everyone says we look “just alike” and ask them if it’s true because he knows they squirm….)
It’s a quote I turn to during hard times. My childhood sucked. I loved being a mom to my now adult children. In fact, it was my main identity and I struggled when each son graduated from high school. That first marriage sucked. It was abusive. In childhood and in that marriage, I was not good enough. I was awful. Everything was my fault. I was worthless. So, I did what I always do. I succeeded in spite of. I relied on that saying. I became a seed. We can’t always bloom where we are planted because some assholes may just mow us the fuck down.
But we can eventually sprout when it’s our time.
Turn On Some Gangsta Rap and Handle It
The first time my brother brought home a gangsta rap tape (yeah, tape), it was either NWA or 2 Live Crew. So, we’re talking late 80s or early 90s. I mean, before that…it was License to Ill by the Beastie Boys…which was good but it was nothing compared to gangsta rap. And, like I said, we grew up on the barrio end of public housing.
I have a very eclectic taste in music. There are some days, though, when I know I need to get shit done and I’m also not in the mood to deal with anyone’s shit and I need to get into a certain frame of mind that I….turn on some gangsta rap from that particular era and just handle what I need to handle.
Around the first of the year, my 19 year old son, Jacob, came to take me on an errand (I hate driving) and he had NWA from the early 90s ready to roll on his phone which Bluetoothed straight to his new car radio. I raised an eyebrow at him. He shrugged and said, “I know my mama.”
Success Is the Best Possible Revenge
I don’t believe in the typical concept of revenge. I have no need to get back at anyone for anything. And sometimes I find that an odd place to be because since I’ve walked away from people and relationships after being abused to have people scream at me about how they’ll get back at me for doing that? The only revenge I take on others is to be successful and move the fuck on without them. It doesn’t matter who they are. Success is the best possible revenge. Especially when you’re wearing sweatpants and living a nice, peaceful life.