According to a NY Times article, the elf on the shelf tradition should essentially rebranded to creepy elf on the shelf.
For the record, we don’t participate in it. It seems like a lot of unnecessary work. I mean, I’d be the parent participating in inappropriate activities such as the elf trying to turn Mr. Potato Head into hashbrowns.
But the NY Times article says you shouldn’t participate because you’re basically conditioning your children to always worry about unseen authoritarian forces watching them.
Oh really? Because society and family units don’t already do that?
You know, with Santa…and the concept of religion and a Sky Daddy?
Give me a fucking break. If you want to do elf on a shelf, do it. If you want to enjoy your religion and you don’t use it to scare your children into eternal damnation for not being perfect, do it.
Santa is already a stalker: he sees you when you’re SLEEPING. He knows when you’re AWAKE.
We tell them the Tooth Fairy (who wants their FUCKING TEETH) can only come when they are ASLEEP. So, to them, the Tooth Fairy is WATCHING.
The Easter Bunny doesn’t show up…UNTIL THEY ARE SLEEPING. So, to them, the Easter Bunny must be watching.
Enjoy your goddamn elf.
Happy Merry Christmas Eve, folks.