Wednesday May 31, 2023

I’m Sure You’re Wondering Where I’ve Been…

The short answer is…handling life. Business is booming which is good. My mother was also diagnosed with throat cancer.

Because she has been disabled since I was 14 and my stepfather is blind, I make the appointments and such. The good news is that if you had to have throat cancer, you would want the kind that she has because it is 100% treatable. And with that said, she is the posterchild as to why you should not fucking smoke because what she has is directly related to smoking. So, stop smoking unless you want to risk a feeding tube while you undergo radiation on your fucking throat. You won’t want to eat as it is with throat cancer because it isn’t comfortable to swallow with a tumor on your windpipe. Radiation won’t make that feel any better even though it makes the cancer go away…I mean, you can still technically eat what you want, though.

So, you know, there’s that.

And because she was and is part of the reason I have complex PTSD (fact, not shaming; she was an addict when I was child. She is honest about that, but is not reformed in many ways and has, up until shortly before the pandemic, bragged to her psychiatrist in front of me in a family session as well as in front of many of her friends about things she did to me and “got away with” because of her…condition at the time), it is a very unique situation having no help other than my husband. Sure, my stepfather helps when she is at home, but there is very little he can do for her since he is legally blind. He’s also very hard of hearing and she’s very hard to hear. She does have a nurse who checks in a few times a week. The good news is that mom is relatively functional as well (thus far). I could have my adult children pop in, but it isn’t there responsibility (and if you think it is, you need to rethink life as the only obligations on this earth are the ones that parents have to their MINOR children or their disabled children; these are young adults building their lives).

Caretakers often fall through the cracks, especially when they do not live with the ones they take care of. But, at least I don’t have to worry about losing my job since I’m self-employed. I’ll get the jobs list updated soon.

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