Because today is the Mondayest Wednesday to ever Monday on a Wednesday, decided by both myself and my assistant, Dani, I decided to treat all of you to one hell of a funny story that I sent to my husband last night. Apparently the fine folks of Arkansas can’t get enough balls…in their mouths.
I mean, I know our entire great nation was disappointed during the height of the pandemic when the Testicle Festival was cancelled.
But, you know, those good folks decided that the show must go on…because who doesn’t like deep fried animal testicles?!
Well, it turns out that people were outraged, just OUTRAGED I tell you because there just weren’t enough deep fried bull testicles to go around this year! And by god, people wanted their
$349 ticket price back!
Can you imagine paying $349 to go to a place to eat deep fried bull nads, drink beer, and be proud that you’re eating animal testicles? Like, down here in Oklahoma, I spent years tricking my children when they were about seven or eight into trying calf fries. They’re cheap and sold as an appetizer. They’re chewy. They’re gross…and they are not worth $349.
Look, I’ve lived in Arkansas…on an Air Force Base…and I promise you that there are plenty of places you can go to get yourselves some calf fries, see some wet t-shirts, and even drink beer. If you wanna spend $349, send it to me. Or go to a strip club….the girls will even pretend to like you! You don’t have to complain about not getting enough balls in your mouth. There are also who will happily do that for you – without charging you $349. Just check Tinder or Grindr. We don’t judge!
If you’re in Oklahoma and want to try calf fries, go to Cattleman’s down on Exchange Avenue in Stockyards City (as we call it…it’s here in OKC).